wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
