I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
