I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
