ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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