I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
