New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
