dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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