Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize