dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
40s are totally the cure
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
