That's intense
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
