At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize