the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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