Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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