i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
We need to rekindle our bromance
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
