So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
