I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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