What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
