I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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