Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
