Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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