just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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