I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Green mimosas i think yes
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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