Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize