belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
