Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
