I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize