she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
