"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
