Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
