like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
