I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
