am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
