It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
