you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We don't watch enough power rangers
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
