paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
