chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
