And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
