the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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