I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
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All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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