It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
