I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize