like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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