fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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