The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
pray to the hookup gods
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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