i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
