How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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