ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I need to sanitize my soul.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
