BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
