So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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