I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
