Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
