Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
