just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
