come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
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