What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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