bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
