Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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