you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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